The U.S. Postal Service Delivered My Package Covered In God Only Knows What

Photo courtesy of Andy West/Cumulus Media

Sitting on my desk when I got back from lunch today was this package that was delivered by the post office late because another package being delivered leaked an “unknown substance” onto my package. They didn’t test it or even attempt to assure me my package was safe, they just wrapped it up in plastic and sent it on its merry way kicking the can down the road and turning it in to my problem.

I had no idea what had leaked onto my package. Was it dirt, makeup, coffee, poop or anthrax? Who knows? If it was the latter I probably wouldn’t be healthy enough to write this blog so we can rule that out. It is nice to know though that the USPS cares as evidenced by the sticker on the plastic wrap that says “We Care” followed up by something about regretting this happened blah, blah, blah and that sometimes this stuff happens. Is that postal “code” for sh$! happens? How would I know for sure? Would you open this package without hazmat gloves and a gas mask? I like the “We Care” idea though. I think I’ll get post-it notes with that printed on them that I can leave on the windshield of another car when I accidentally hit it with my door in the parking lot. “I Care: sorry sorry. I try to be careful but sometimes these things happen and I really regret it. I hope you understand. Ummmkay, bye. Have a great day!”

In the end I braved it but I did not touch the “soiled” area. I slid the plastic wrap down around the box and then used a plastic knife to cut the package open and was rewarded with the cool BBR (Broken Bow Record Group) swag you see here (at bottom). I still have no idea what the brown stuff was. Hopefully this isn’t swag to die for if you know what I mean.

Photo courtesy of Andy West/Cumulus Media


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